Tree branches scratched, rocks slammed, then Brina spun helplessly into cold, dark emptiness, pushed in all directions so that she felt crushed. She hardly had any breath to hold, and it was a sheer fluke that brought her up the first time, cold air slapping her with a blast that choked. She barely swallowed a gasp before she was tossed back into the dark.
–gonna drown! She didn't know which way was up, there wasn't any light, she couldn't see even if there was light, her eyes hurt and she could hardly feel her body moving, nothing was working–
The sunlight barely glinted above her face, and she splashed for it, feeling air on her hands and then on her feet, bubbles cascading. She was right on the surface, if she could just–
Aunt Eupa told her over and over, you don't swim on a current, you ride it. More like flying or falling than swimming. They even did a little practice when they weren't supposed to.
Brina stuck her legs out straight and flapped her arms like wings to finish the flip, bringing herself to flop across the surface. She bobbed like that, sucking breath after breath, barely keeping up her arms and legs. It felt like her lungs were freezing and her arms were gonna fall off. She only didn't weep because she didn't have the air. She was sorry she cussed her magic, it was the only reason she hadn't frozen already.
Brina had enough of her normal, safe, usual self to remember that she was really sorry she didn't listen to her family, and she hated when her guardians were right. She really did get sucked in and she really was so far down already, going so fast, and Aunt Eupa was sleeping and Daddy was gardening and Daemon was probably making lunch. It was easy to see them at home like that, waiting on her.
Going feet-first, Brina's left was the side her house was on, and it was mostly dirt and exposed tree roots and rocks. On the right, trees stuck out of the water, bridged here and there by dams of debris off the forest floor.
The young mage couldn't steer if she wanted to, scraping unseen rocks underneath and being pulled by the sweeping water. Debris scratched at her legs and skirt and hair, she could only hope that the water would send her into something she could grab.
Brina was dragged downriver for what felt like a thousand years. Her arms and legs were numb and her belly ached, and even being still was getting harder. The dirty water would slow down sometimes, and even pull her toward the north shore when the land got lower on that side, but Brina never got close enough to sweep into the trees and maybe somewhere she could put her feet down. Nothing was high enough to stop herself on, and the time she tried to grab an overhead branch almost saw her fall back in and drown before she could get back up. The time she did get toward the shoreline, she was buffeted back when the water flow off a dam sent her spinning sideways, and she finally just let her head back and started hoping something would see her and decide she was dinner and pull her out.
Instead, her legs caught onto some sticks, and when the current pulled her away, she went further inland instead of back into the water.
She tried to put her feet down and found the ground, but that didn't help at all– she was going too fast and the water was pushing too hard to get her footing, and the current going between the trees was even worse than out in the open water, slingshotting her around at speeds that left her dizzy-- until she was sent reeling from one mess into the center of another, thrown backwards into a pile of sticks softened only by the leaves bunched in with them.
She was pressed against the sticks by the weight of the flow. The water splashed up against her and flew off her chin as she struggled to get off the spiky debris. The ground was right there, she could have stood up, but moving against the rush was nearly impossible. Brina did her best to scoot little by little to the tree holding the dam. Once she reached the solid wood, she slowly pushed herself up the bark, using the pressure to keep going until she got up enough to breathe without being crushed or feeling like she was going to die.
Little Brina slithered up the tree until her butt was high enough to scoot sideways to the top of the dam, and she sprawled over the sticks, surrounded by shallow rapids, exhausted and bedraggled. She waited for feeling to return to her arms and legs, and was dismayed to find that the only feeling she was going to get back was pain.
Everything was too much. Her body hurt so bad that she couldn't think, she hadn't hurt like this since her first lessons with Aunt Eupa. She didn't even have the strength to cry, barely gulping breaths like she'd never have enough air again.
Kid, that dam is not going to hold you long. Move.
Brina wasn't sure if she really heard her aunt's voice, but the wood beneath her was beginning to crumble. She hugged the tree so the current would push her against it and tried not to imagine Ro-Ro bringing her dead body back to her daddy.
Fortunately, when the dam fell away, the water flowed more freely, easing the current. Brina put her noodly legs down and leaned against the tree, finding it easier to stay up in the thigh-deep water with that support. The water was still too high to walk in, but she could lean against the current and push off the trees to stagger forward and reach the next one... The next one closer was really far away... until Brina remembered to look downriver, and she saw one maybe five steps off.
Brina pushed off with her hands and staggered forward, getting pushed further downriver but going right for that tree she picked out. Her feet sank into the mud and helped her stay up, and she sloshed and slogged her way into shallower water, and fell against her landing tree. She succeeded! It was perfect, she could lean against the water and pick out a new one. It was still above her knees, but it wasn't near so bad anymore.
Once she got far enough in, she could just walk on the ground, stumbling and shambling, dragging herself further inland to hard, leaf-covered ground where she collapsed, gasping and whimpering.
Now she could cry, sucking a deep breath and releasing a wail she didn't recognize as her own.
Crying hurt her belly. She couldn't keep it up for long, instead being reduced to lying on the forest floor and gasping between shuddering moans. The roar of the river drowned out the noise, and she laid there for a long time.
But that wasn't going to get anything done. She needed to find somewhere safe to be. And maybe water. Or a way to get water, she knew how to get water from leaves. The river water was dirty, being this flooded, Ro-Ro said it was better not to.
Ro-Ro taught her that she was supposed to find a safe place and stay there and wait. "It's easier for me to track prey that stops moving," she said. She said that went for her food and for Brina or anyone else she wanted to find. She'd find them anyway, just later. In the case of lost Brina, that was a bad thing.
Brina didn't know how to find a safe place. Actually, she did, find a good hole, make sure nothing else was in there, make sure it had two ways in and out and could be blocked off, and make sure it was warm. Small places were good for keeping warm with her own warmth.
Okay.
Brina looked at the river thoughtfully. She was supposed to stay in one place, but the river was the river and there was only one way it went. She could follow it up at least as far as the inlet and maybe watch for her family on the other side?
Would being closer to home help? It's not like she left a trail in the river. They'd have to follow it down anyway.
Brina shook herself and got to her feet and wrung out her dress. She was okay. She could do this.
Her body ached already, maybe–
Rhythmic pounding on the mud and brush moving around startled Brina. She could hardly breathe for the terror. She couldn't run, there was no way, she was already exhausted.
Or at least that's what Brina thought before she saw the three wolves bounding merrily through the shallow floodwaters, and she dashed into the forest. Not only could she run, but she was going so fast she could hardly see. If she hadn't grown up in woods of her own, she would have really hurt herself. Brambles and brush scratched and she couldn't tell if her feet were numb or if they really weren't hitting the ground right, and she collided more than a couple of times with smaller saplings she couldn't avoid. The wind roared in her ears so she couldn't know if the wolves were behind her, and she only stopped because her foot landed badly on a dip and she tumbled into the leaves, skidding to a halt on her chest.
She curled into a ball and covered her head, waiting to feel the teeth, but nothing came. No sniffing, not even footsteps in the leaves. Cautiously lifting her head, Brina saw nothing, and she sat the rest of the way up to look around.
Still nothing.
She collapsed onto her back and panted, now certain she'd exhausted all her energy. Even if the wolves did come up now, she wouldn't be able to run anymore. Or at least she thought so, but she just said that.
The river roar was distant, and she needed to get back to it. She could sort of see her prints from running, and she followed them back… or at least she thought she was following them back, until she ran out. If she'd jumped or if something else made tracks she was following…
The river roar was still just as quiet as before…
Turning in place, Brina tried to get a sense of direction, figure out where the river was, she didn't even have a clue how far she could have gone from home.
She rotated again. The strange trees were closer together and smaller than the ones at home, leaves coated the forest floor, and the birds and animals slowly emerged from hiding. A chill sank in as Brina spun a third time, feet scuffling as the wave of realization hit her.
Brina was lost.
Brina was lost! All the way lost! Not like in her own forest, where she could head in any direction and find her way home, she was lost lost!
Her family told her over and over for years and years, this could happen. Of every visit she made to the river, she'd never fallen in before, but they told her over and over, that she could fall in and be washed down or eaten, and even if she survived the water, getting out and getting home was going to be even harder, and if she fell into the feywild, even Ro-Ro wouldn't be able to save her.
Ro-Ro might not be able to save her now, she wasn't even home.
Would Daddy know to check downriver? Could he get across and check over here?
Where even was here? How far inland did she run?
They weren't even looking for her yet.
Brina was overcome with tears, the same wild, pitiful wail as before. She gulped at the air and continued until the ache in her belly was too much to keep going, and she had to let the tears fall silently until they were done, too.
Afterwards, Brina felt a little better, and once she finished, she felt well enough to brush herself off and get back to her feet.
She already messed up trying to move. If she could figure out how, she needed to make a loud noise or find a way to get something into the air.
Except that didn't make sense across the river when Ro-Ro wasn't home. But she still figured it was worth a try, building a great big lungful to scream Ro-Ro's name into the trees.
She got no response, but she didn't expect one at all, let alone right away. So Brina took stock of what was around, and herself.
She was still barefoot, her magic was still being lazy, and she was kinda hungry. Her hair… was coming out of its braids and starting to fluff on the top of her head, but that wasn't a problem, just annoying. Her dress… lost that ribbon again. Her feet were scratched. Her hands were going red. She was surrounded by North of The River woods, and there were wolves out here.
She knew south was 'down' on a map, but she couldn't remember how to find it in the woods without tools or something to familiar to look at. Their house faced the east, the bath house door was south, the river went east-to-west at the inlet, but she was in the middle of the woods, and the river didn't always go east-west.
The sun… but she didn't know what time it was…
Would the wolves come after her? Would they want to eat her? Ro-Ro and Aunt Eupa said humans tasted bad, and weren't really worth the trouble of killing to eat. Ro-Ro also said that if she didn't want to be eaten, Brina would need to make herself more annoying than satisfying to eat. So maybe they wouldn't want to eat her. They didn't chase, after all…
She wished she had her Call Beads. They were really simple, just a bunch of beads with different colors that she and her guardians strung on bracelets and used to call each other to each other by touching all the colors at once. Ro-Ro had them made for her when she started school. Daddy's were gold, Aunt Eupa's were red, Ro-Ro's were green, and Brina's were purple. Daddy said theirs all told them which direction Brina was in, too.
Brina stopped wearing them when she stopped going to school. She figured she wouldn't need them, and if her parents needed them, she probably wouldn't want to be found. She figured any looking for her would be because she left intentionally.
Brina felt a pang of.... something that did not feel good at all, she couldn't even name that feeling, right in the middle of her chest, just below her collar, and all the way into her cheeks. It burned.
Where was she? How would she even figure it out? She just wanted to find the river, it just felt like the river would be better and she needed to find somewhere to hide and maybe even sleep. Ro-Ro would tell her to be still and wait, but...
Brina ventured slowly into the woods, looking around for a shelter, or maybe something she could use to make a shelter. Big fallen branch to pile leaves on would be better than nothing to stay warm, piles of dry leaves were good for keeping warm, even if they were itchy. The wet ones were good for making shelter, and you could throw more dry ones on top to help keep them from getting too wet and sliding off.
She did this at home, but Daddy never let her sleep in them before. Ro-Ro and Aunt Eupa argued, but he got mad about it.
It didn't take a lot of wandering to stumble upon a huge clearing and the fallen tree that made it. A clearing this plain was new to Brina. The trees at home weren't this big, so when they fell down, they didn't make big clearings, they just made gaps in the shadows. This was a whole tree that had been split by lightning. The wood was still black at the spike of trunk jutting from the ground, and Brina was in awe at the fallen twin halves.
One was far bigger than the other, with two big circles of tree where the other had one. The smaller one fell "back" and cleared a mess of branches in a row, but the canopy really opened up fifty steps from the stump, where the crown of the tree took down everything smaller than it and dragged its friends with them.
Brina walked the length, forgetting that she was supposed to be looking for food or shelter or the river.
It was huge. Brina had never seen anything so big, not even the big one she fell off.
Some of the branches reached high enough to get to the branches of the standing trees….
This one might as well have been a tree growing out of this tree's side. It was tilted but standing tall, and was definitely touching some lower branches.
She found a good spot to climb with reachable handholds. A hairy vine wrapped around the branch and provided an extra spot to grip. She got a good jump and grabbed hold of a branch, but her hands were weak and she slipped. A second try saw slightly more success, only slipping from the vine, and she dangled for a few moments before her weakened grip dropped her once more.
Aunt Eupa taught her this one. She got on a higher spot on the tree trunk and jumped to catch the branch and pull herself up. She had to use her toes on the vine going around, but it worked and she got an arm over the branch and her leg over the branch and she laid across the low limb as she caught her breath. She'd never been this winded after so little. Her arms hurt already.
But she had work to do. Sitting on the branches she could and stepping up carefully, she made her way up, keeping her reach low and her movements careful. It felt normal, and if she didn't think about it, Brina didn't mind being lost. She was just on an adventure like the ones her Daddy and Ro-Ro and Aunt Eupa told her about. Climbing the tree felt like a hundred times before and something new at the same time. Brina forgot how much her body ached until she got about halfway up and her arms were too tired to pull from over her head anymore. Her legs could still go but her arms needed to stop, and she sprawled herself over a branch to rest. They were still so big, how high was she?
Oh. Not very. She might have been going more in circles than up.
Maybe she should stay in the tree? Maybe she could find a hollow spot to stuff with leaves? Her family would find her, she was pretty sure, if she waited long enough. Ro-Ro would be coming home soon, Brina was confident. Aunt Eupa was so sneaky and fast, Brina would never even know if her yellow-eyed guardian had followed her all the way to the inlet and down the river. She could be standing right beneath her for all Brina knew. She checked, but she knew Aunt Eupa wouldn't be found if she didn't want to be.
That was something Aunt Eupa did a lot, wait for her to mess up whatever she was up to and then step in to tell her what she did wrong and help. Daddy would always stop her, Ro-Ro wouldn't get involved, but Aunt Eupa would just stand behind her and watch for ages. She would often startle Brina with a breathy little, "Whatchya doin'?" right before Brina did anything harmful or dangerous.
Actually, sometimes, she would let Brina get hurt, but only if she knew it would be okay. She would also step in and make sure Brina knew what to do when she was doing the thing she wasn't supposed to. Swimming in the deep part of the river, building a trap for Daddy in the den, the squirreling in the wrong parts of the trees, or heading too deep into the wrong part of the forest, Aunt Eupa let her do it, following every step of the way and waiting for Brina to need help, appearing out of nowhere and asking, "Whatchya doin'?"
Would Aunt Eupa let Brina get washed downriver?
Probably. She certainly said she would. "I'll let it take you if I think you're gonna be thick about it," she said more than once. Aunt Eupa's an asshole.
Brina started back up the tree. She liked climbing trees, and once she got high enough, the branches were thinner and closer together and made good handholds and steps, which was harder but faster than sitting and stepping up. Toward the top, they got too thin to hold her up anymore, and she found a good spot to stick her head out.
The view wasn't enough to see over the rest of the forest, not even a little. She was level with the lowest of the branches in this forest. She was hoping she'd be able to tell at least where the river was, but the trees between her and it were too dense. Brina thought about 'squirreling' to the next tree to get higher, but didn't she trust herself right now. She had dropped herself twice just trying to get into this tree. If she fell from a height like this…
At least she couldn't see the wolves, either?
Brina got low enough to perch on the rough branches and leaned back to rest and consider her options. She could stay in the tree? She knew she should stay still but was there water to find here? These leaves were okay for it, she guessed, Ro-Ro taught her how to drink dew… Maybe the tree had a good hiding place....
Okay. So I'm gonna climb down and I'm gonna wait here for whoever finds me first. Okay. I'm okay. I can do this. "I'm Brinarini and I'm magic and I'm loved and I'm fast and I'm strong and I'm tough and I'm good."
The affirmations were another thing her black-furred guardian gave her, telling her to remind herself of what she is, words that she could use to describe herself that were true that Brina liked. Hearing them in her weakened, hollow voice was not as helpful as letting her mind's ear hear it in Aunt Eupa's yowling loving one, but she felt better just saying it.
Brina lowered herself out of the tree. She could do this. The bark was rough on her hands, but the familiarity felt good, and she felt stronger now that she'd had a chance to rest.
Or at least that's what she thought until the rough landing reminded her that her legs were made of jelly. Brina touched and stumbled on leaf-covered ground and recovered clumsily. Her attempts to brush herself off only crumbled the leaves further into her damp clothes and got her hands wet.
She missed her Aunt Eupa. Ro-Ro would be the one to find her, Daddy would be the one to carry her home, but Aunt Eupa would help her find herself and then tell her how to do it better next time. There were a lot of ways she made herself horrible company, like she cussed all the time and called people names, but Brina never felt anything but love. When she learned what a 'mom' was, she secretly decided that Aunt Eupa was, but in a sideways way that didn't make her anything to Daddy except… whatever she was to Daddy.
That always did puzzle the young mage. Both of them said they loved each other and they talked to each other about everything and they worked together to make a home for Brina. They also fought every single day about anything and everything, called each other names, and they tried to hide the physical violence and were bad at it. (An older classmate said it was an adventurer thing, and so was the way they were friends.)
Circling the tree, Brina eliminated the one that fell straight back and dedicated her attention to the other side, which had fallen over and then straight down before it broke off the tree, leaving a jagged point from the stump and stabbing the forked fork into the ground at an angle. It looked perfect, if Brina got lucky...
The remains of the branch lay scattered around the fallen fork, and Brina took stock of how much could be used, noticing a lot of them still had leaves and fanned out.
In the fork itself... It looked kind of tight, but when Brina leaned down and dug the wet leaves out from the pit, she found the peat and lots more room.
It bowled in the center of three prongs, two of which were close together, the third of which was further away from them.
Two exits, Brina remembered, Ro-Ro taught her the hard way that a way out while you were being chased was good, having been mercilessly tickled for a full minute when Brina couldn't escape with Ro-Ro in the only exit.
Yep! A gap between its limbs, only big enough to slither through, but big enough to slither through. With more leaves clear, it was a little bigger.
Brina grabbed some more dry leaves off a top layer to line the bottom, digging in as far as she dared, afraid to find snakes or bugs the fun way and knowing they'd run once she left.
The open wall was about the size of her own body, which was too big, but the gap was big enough to lie down in with her head toward the trunk, toward both her exits. The little one could be stuffed with leaves no problem, and she lined it with wet then covered it with dry, and put a small fanned out end-branch with leaves over it just for safety.
The big opening...
She knew how to tie the branches together with themselves, but she couldn't get them to do it right. Aunt Eupa never could make it make sense to her, and Brina hadn't learned to copy yet.
She could cake it with mud, though, and that worked. Globbing the fanned out branches together with wet leaves and then propping them up against bigger sticks and leaning bigger sticks against that, creating a nearly-solid wall on the open side of the fork.
Brina stepped back to admire her work. She wished her family was here to see it, she missed them horribly and they'd be so proud. Ro-Ro would probably pick on it and Aunt Eupa would tell Brina to call her an asshole, actually, and then Daddy would get that look on his face and...
Brina moaned softly and curled into a ball on the ground. She missed her family, especially Aunt Eupa.
Ro-Ro liked to tease, saying Aunt Eupa changed when Brina came around. Daddy always got grumpy when it came up, too. Daemon would get real interested in whatever book when Brina mentioned Aunt Eupa at all.
She was mean, though, meaner than anything, and sometimes she would go too far and pick on Brina's eye or push too much on something she was having a hard time doing. She was always quick to hug Brina and remind her that Aunt Eupa was an asshole. She taught Brina to call her that when she was being one.
But she could be nice. She taught Brina the affirmations and how to use a knife and squirreling and how to breathe to calm down. She took good care of all of them, and loved them all ferociously. Brina never needed anything and she hardly got the chance to want anything when Aunt Eupa was around. She'd get food and treats snuck to her, lessons on stuff she wasn't supposed to do. Aunt Eupa was always the first to congratulate Brina on a job well done and recognize hard work put in. She would argue with Daddy and Ro-Ro for Brina, too, and the lessons about assholes turned out to be invaluable later.
Brina had taken baths with her since before she could remember, and she still had the first bathtub they got for her. Currently, the oblong metal tub hung in a tree to be used as a toy pulley. It was hard to think she could ever have fit in the little thing, it wasn't even as long as Aunt Eupa's was wide.
Her earliest memories still had them playing "What's This?", a game that was played by one of them washing a body part, asking, "What's this?" and the other one naming it. Aunt Eupa would describe the use and sometimes taste of the body part. Brina first used it to learn to say the words and then would copy Aunt Eupa until she invented a new one where Brina would describe how it felt, and if it did its job today. Daemon agreed it was a good exercise, and he said that it was good to be aware of yourself that way, especially when dealing with magic like they do.
Brina did ask how the game got started, and she didn't think anything of it until the adults did the thing where they looked at one another and then looked away from one another and said, "Uh," together.
Right now, Aunt Eupa was at home, probably asleep. She would be waking up soon and she would be angry about them not knowing where Brina was. At least if it was as far past lunchtime as Brina thought. It felt like it should have been dark already, but the sun was still overhead.
What would Aunt Eupa tell her to do?
What Ro-Ro said. And to find food and then shelter and hide and wait for Ro-Ro. Aunt Eupa had nothing but faith in Ro-Ro and her hunting and the spirits.
She wished she had a knife. Aunt Eupa taught her so many useful knife tricks. Not that they'd do her any good right now, she didn't like catching her own meat. Actually, she kinda liked crickets, maybe she could hunt some of those!
