Valiant: Tales From The Drift

[Tails #22: Recovery]

Log Date: 9/6/12764

Data Sources: Jazel Jaskolka, Lysanne Arrignis

Event Log: Jazel Jaskolka

Dandelion Drift: Conference Room

12:59am SGT

“And you are still having these recurrent memories?”

My fingers tangle around each other. Fidgeting, as they always do, when I’m having a therapy session. As I work out in my head what to tell my therapist, if anything at all.

“Jazel, if you do not want to talk about it, we do not have to.”

Sitting across the table from me is a hologram, albeit a very well-rendered one. My therapist is an elf by the name of Quilf; grey-haired, with delicate glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, a soft-spoken man at once patient and unremarkable. He likes to dress in loose robes, and always has his data slate with him to take notes whenever he calls in for our biweekly checkup.

“I’m not sure it’s memories.” I say quietly. “I dreamt of the Old City.”

“The Old City?” Quilf asks.

“It’s the Aurescuran afterlife.” I explain. “The place Aurescurans go to when we die, and the place we come from when we are reincarnated.”

“And this troubled you.” he guesses.

I nod.

“Would you like to tell me what unsettled you about it?” he offers.

I don’t answer right away, trying to find a way to describe it. “It’s an empty place, a grey place. Everything is in ruins, but not recent ruins. Like… ruins that have been there for decades, centuries. You’re always alone, and it is always silent.”

His brows come together. “I see. The Old City seems like a place of purgatory, or punishment.”

I shake my head. “We don’t have heaven or hell, like other religions do. There is only the Old City. Every Aurescuran returns to the Old City when they die, and depending on whether you were a good or bad person, you have to wait a period of time before being reincarnated, or you may be reincarnated quickly. Or, if you are satisfied with your lives, you may choose to evanesce instead.”

“To evanesce?” Quilf asks.

“It’s like… dissolving. Fading.” I say, gesturing vaguely. “It’s hard to describe, the Aurescuran priests could probably do it better than me. Like opening a bottle of gas and letting it dissolve back into the atmosphere?… something like that. It’s hard to really explain it.”

“Ceasing to exist as an individual and letting the substance that makes you up rejoin the universe at large?” Quilf guesses. “The same way a body decomposes and becomes the building blocks for other forms of life.”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

“Thank you. I’m only vaguely familiar with Aurescuran religion, so this was an interesting window into that topic.” he says, tapping out a few notes into his slate. “It seems to unsettle you, though. Would you like to continue talking about this, or should we move to another topic?”

“I think I just need a bit more time to process it.” I admit.

“That’s entirely fair.” Quilf says. “Dreams can be difficult topics, but I think it is good that you have stopped dreaming of your past lives quite as often. On the subject of memories, I would like to ask: has your recollection of your own life improved?”

I fidget uncomfortably. “Well, sort of…”

Quilf raises an eyebrow.

I shrug aggressively. “The thing is, I can’t know about what I’ve forgotten. I can’t know if there’s anything missing if I don’t know what the missing thing is in the first place. You can’t… know what you don’t have if you don’t remember you actually had it in the first place.”

“That is true, but you’ve told me that you have an awareness of things that are missing.” Quilf points out. “You may not know what they are, but you have a vague feeling of knowing that you are missing something. As you described it in one of our past sessions…” He takes a moment to scroll through his slate before reading from it. “It’s like going grocery shopping without a shopping list. You grab everything you think you need and put it in the cart, but at the end, you know you’re missing something, but you can’t remember what it is, and no matter how hard you try to remember it, you just don’t know what it is. You would know what it was if you saw it, but you haven’t seen it while you were roaming the aisles, and so you can’t remember what you forgot to get. You know you’re missing something, but you don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Well… yeah…” I admit.

“That was a very specific way of describing the difficulty of trying to recover all the memories of your own life, versus the lives you have lived before.” Quilf points out. “Are you still having that difficulty, Jazel?”

I shuffle in my chair a little, avoiding Quilf’s gaze.

Quilf reaches up, taking off his glasses. “Jazel, I think it is time that you go home.” he says gently.

“I don’t need to go home, I’m fine.” I say quickly. “I’m fine. I know who I am… mostly… and I’m, I’m functioning. I can talk to people, I can interact with them, and my memories of my past lives aren’t taking over me anymore. I know who I am.”

“Yes, but only ‘mostly’, as you yourself have said.” he points out, folding his glasses shut. “I think returning to your childhood home, and seeing your mother, your community, the places of your youth, will be good for you. I’m not saying that it has to be permanent, or an extended stay. Just a short visit, a week, maybe two, to help you remember all the things that you cannot remember. To see the things in the grocery store, so to speak, that you know you are missing but do not know what they are. You’ve told me that you have a good relationship with your mother and with your coven, so I believe this will be a good experience for you, something that will provide some of the healing that you’re missing.”

I bite my lip. “Well… I mean, I guess if it’s just a short stay…”

“Exactly. Just a short stay, doesn’t have to be very long.” he agrees. “We can consider it a vacation, or a mental health break. I’d be more than happy to write up a physician’s statement that you can provide to CURSE, so you can get the time off.”

“Well, yeah, that was the other thing.” I say. “I didn’t want CURSE or Lysanne or the others think I was slacking off…”

“I think they should go with you back to New Aurescura as well.” Quilf says. “They are your current support group, and I wouldn’t want to separate you from them. I’ll go ahead and include that in my physician’s statement.”

“Okay. Alright.” I nod, almost to myself. “I’ll bring it up to Lysanne and the others, and see if that’s something they’d be interested in.”

“Good.” Quilf says, unfolding his glasses and putting them back on. “Now, to end things on a different note: how is your relationship with Kaya? Still going good?”

“Yeah! Yeah.” I say quickly. “She’s sleeping right now, but… yeah, things are good.”

“Excellent.” Quilf nods. “And you’ve made sure that you’re communicating and expressing yourself when you need to?”

“Yeah, it’s uh… yeah.”

“And she’s still respecting the boundaries that you’ve set, right?”

“Yeah, she’s been respecting them. She’s gotten better about asking before acting.”

“Good, good.” Quilf says, nodding approvingly. “It seems like your relationship with her is in a good place, then.”

“Yeah, it is.” I say, leaning back in my chair a little. “She’s still learning how to read. It’s slow progress, but I’ve been thinking about getting her a phone to help her get to that next level of mastery.”

“Because phones typically make use of a fair amount of textual information.” Quilf deduces.

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know a lot of phone usage is image and audio-based, but text usually gives the images and audio context, and… y’know.”

“Indeed. Well, just be careful with how you implement that; modern technologies are often designed to be addictive, and that presents a particular risk with someone that’s not been exposed to technology for four centuries.” Quilf recommends. “I’d advise taking the same precautions that you might when giving a child a device like that. Set some ground rules, and make sure there are restrictions on what it can be used for, and limits on overall usage.”

I start to say ‘yeah’ again, then catch myself when I realize how many times I’ve used it in the past two minutes. “Okay. I’ll do… actually, I think I’ll talk it over with Lysanne. She’s good with that sort of thing; I think she’ll have good ideas for setting the right kind of boundaries.”

Quilf smiles. “Consulting your peers for guidance and direction. That’s a good sign of growth, Jazel.” He folds his hands together over his slate. “Anything else you’d like to talk about before we end our session today?”

I think for a moment, then shake my head. “No, I think that should be it.”

“Very well. I’ll put together that physician’s statement and have it emailed to you, and I’ll talk to you again in another two weeks, Jazel. Stay safe and take care.” With that, he reaches forward, and his hologram flickers out, leaving me alone in the conference room once more.

In the consequent silence, I sit for a moment, soaking in the thought of going back home. It’d been years since I’d gone back to New Aurescura; I wanted to get out and see the galaxy, and I’d been able to do that as a Preserver. I’d never considered going back home, but only because there hadn’t really been a need to, and there had always been plenty of work to do. I wouldn’t mind going back home — it wasn’t like there were bad memories for me back there.

But I still hadn’t told my mom about the fact that I was sorta dating now, and that my girlfriend was four centuries older than me.

Or that she was a different species.

Or that she needed to feed on souls to survive.

Pushing back from the table, I stand up and head for the door, leaving the conference room. The halls are darkened and lowlit, since we’re on the night cycle; everyone is sleeping, except maybe Dandy, who is probably vaguely aware of everything happening on the ship, even when she’s on her rest cycle. While I prefer to have my appointments during the day, I’m at the mercy of the day-night cycle on whatever planet my therapist lives on — and the time on his planet doesn’t always neatly line up with Standard Galactic Time, which is what the Drift runs on.

Wandering back through the halls to my room, I tuck my hands in the pockets of my pajamas as I think about what Quilf’s recommendation would entail. I would need to tell Lysanne, so she was aware, and see if everyone else was okay with it. I’d have to ask CURSE for time off, though having Quilf’s statement should make that pretty easy — we weren’t considered essential personnel to CURSE, so when we asked for time off and had it backed by a doctor, it was pretty much guaranteed. I would need to call my mom and ask her if I could come visit, and if she said yes, we’ve have to figure out a date, and how long we would be staying. There would be a lot involved.

And among all that, I had to find time to tell my mom about Kayenta. Which was easier said than done, since questions like ‘how did you meet’, ‘where are you from’, and ‘what do you do for a living’ would produce some fairly awkward answers.

Reaching my room, I wave the door open and step back inside. It’s dark within, moreso as the door spirals shut behind me, and I reach up to tap one of the lanterns hanging from the ceiling as I move towards my bed. It glows to life, though only very faintly; just enough to keep me from walking into anything on my way to the bed. Settling back in, I slip beneath the covers — and as I do so, they rise slightly, a pair of silver ears flicking out from beneath the edge as Kayenta raises her head bit, staring blearily at me.

“Sorry.” I whisper softly. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Her august eyes blink a couple times before she gives me a sleepy smile, her many tails wagging weakly and causing the covers to twitch back and forth. She slithers beneath the blankets to snuggle up against my side, but doesn’t say anything as she closes her eyes again — so I suppose I’m forgiven.

Tugging the covers up over both of us, I start to drift away again, lulled to sleep by her comfortable warmth pressing against my ribs.

Event Log: Lysanne Arrignis

Dandelion Drift: Kitchen

10:06am SGT

“Alright, alright, let’s bring it down a notch!” I call over the conversations and the clatter of utensils in the kitchen. The door spirals shut behind me as I take a look at my slate. “So, CURSE just sent us a few new assignments. Y’all can keep making breakfast, but listen while I read them to you.”

“Better be something good.” Milor says over his cereal. “We were literally watching grass grow on the last assignment.”

“Sindachola grass is an endangered cultivar. We needed to make sure it took root and was healthy before leaving.” I say, then look at my slate again. “First assignment: Pallus has recently had a problem with vampire fairies. They are not native to the planet and are considered an invasive species. We’re not expected to exterminate them since they’ve spread to so many cities on the planet, but we are to visit and grab specimens for analysis, so the Preserver Academy can study them and advise Pallus’s leaders on a control campaign.”

Dandy, who’s making the pancakes over at the stove, looks to me. “Weren’t vampire fairies thought to be almost extinct?”

“They were, until someone released a box of the last surviving specimens in the middle of a major city during a specimen exchange.” I say, giving Jazel a hard look.

Jazel averts his eyes, picking up the pace as continues slicing up strawberries for the pancakes. “I mean, it was the only way I could escape from Grimes at the time…” he mumbles.

“I guess I’ll let it slide if that’s the case.” I say as Kayenta reaches over Jazel’s shoulder and steals one of the strawberries he’s sliced up. “The second assignment is also for an invasive species, though we are expected to contain these ones. A group of genetically-engineered cannibal bunnies have escaped their facility on Kjurrtik in the Currituck System, and are wiping out the local ecosystem. Animal control in the affected area is battling to keep the cannibunny population under control, but they haven’t been able to locate and destroy the dens where the little buggers are breeding. They want us to come do that for them.”

“I knew it! I knew it.” Ozzy mutters, shaking his head as he shuffles over to the table in his fuzzy slippers, setting out plates and utensils. “This is what happens when you let corporations play god. Cannibal bunnies, what’s next? Spider scorpions? Chameleon cats?”

“I presume we will be handling the cannibunnies first, since the vampire fairies aren’t as time-sensitive?” Dandy asks, starting to pile pancakes on a platter.

“Right on.” I say, setting my slate down so I can grab the butter and the maple syrup. “Kaya, can you get the milk and orange juice from the fridge?”

Kayenta nods, skipping over to the fridge to retrieve both jugs. After she brings those over, Jazel slides a platter of sliced strawberries, mangos, and raspberries onto the table along with everything else. I take a seat as Dandy brings over glasses for everyone, then sits down as well.

“Looks like we’ve got everything.” I say, looking over my shoulder at Jazel, who’s still at the counter. “Gonna join us, Jazel?”

Jazel doesn’t look up from the mango that he’s shaving slices off of. “Uhm, so… I talked to my therapist last night. He… thinks that I should take some time and go back to New Aurescura. To visit my mother and my coven. To help with my memories, and stuff.”

We’re all silent at that. “Like… right now?” I ask hesitantly.

“Oh, no, not right away, just… like, whenever we have the time, I guess.” he shrugs, cutting couple more slices off the mango. “I meant to tell you about it, but I didn’t know we were getting in the assignments today, and I figured I’d mention it, since we’re planning out our schedule.”

“How long did your therapist recommend that you visit for?” Dandy asks.

“A few weeks? I guess? He said it shouldn’t be a short visit, but it didn’t have to be an extended stay either.” he says, putting the mango pit in the disposal. “He said that it would be okay for all of you to come with me. If we wanted. Like. A vacation or something?”

“Oh, a vacation to New Aurescura? I like the sound of that.” Ozzy says thoughtfully. “Amazing place, amazing mythology. Some of the foremost scholars of eschatology are Aurescurans. And the magic of the Aurescurans is quite unique, I wouldn’t mind visiting and learning more about it firsthand.”

“I could do with a vacation.” Milor says, pulling a plate to himself and piling three pancakes on it. “It’d be nice to stop and get my feet on solid ground for a few weeks. Smell the fresh air, spend some time planetside.”

“We would get to meet your mother?” Kayenta asks, her silver ears erect and tilted in Jazel’s direction as he washes his hands.

Jazel blinks at that. “Well… yes…” he says as he starts to dry his hands.

“I want to do it! Let’s go.” Kayenta declares. “When are we going?”

“We will have to request vacation time from CURSE.” Dandy points out. “Can the visit to New Aurescura wait until we have completed our current slate of assignments, Jazel?”

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s fine.” Jazel says quickly, putting the paring knife away. “My therapist said that he would provide me a physician’s statement that I could give to CURSE to request my time off, so he’ll be sending that to me eventually, and we can submit that to them with our vacation request…”

“Does your mom know that you’re going to be coming back home?” I ask as Jazel comes to the table and sits down between me and Kayenta.

“I haven’t told her yet.” he says as he starts to load up a pancake with maple syrup and blackberries. “Figured I’d tell her once I got things figured out, but I wanted to let you all know first.”

“Well, it’s a good time for it, with the galaxy the way it is.” Milor says, starting to cut into his pancakes. “New Aurescura’s several hundred lightyears from Mokasha, so that’s a good long ways from all the trouble in that part of the galaxy.”

“It’ a real shame, all that.” Ozzy says, buttering his pancakes. “It’s been years since the Collective made a move. Last time they had the guts for it was back when the Challenger program was starting to fall apart.”

“It seems kinda sudden.” I say, digging into my pancakes. “Why now? They’ve been quiet for like… two decades.”

“The Collective operates on a timescale spanning centuries and millennia.” Dandy explains. She isn’t eating, since she doesn’t really need to as a Cyber. “It is theorized that their periods of quiescence are intended to lull the other nations of the galaxy into complacency, and to let the memories of conflict fade before they commence subsequent assimilation campaigns.”

“They saw an opportunity now that the Valiant are upsetting the status quo.” Milor says past a full mouth. “CURSE was distracted and nations were squabbling over how to handle a new group of powerful vigilantes that answer to no one. It was the perfect time to launch an invasion of a poorly-defended border world.”

“I just feel sorry for all the Mokashans.” I mumble past a mouthful of pancake. “From the reports coming out of the Confederacy, it seems like they never stood a chance. I heard that even the Mokasha Starstruck gave up and fled the world once it was obvious that the invasion couldn’t be stopped.”

“Mmm. That’s how you know a world is doomed.” Ozzy says knowingly, shaking his butterknife at me. “If even the Starstruck are pullin’ the plug? No sir, there is no saving that world. Say, is the Confederacy still trying to take the system back? Last I heard, they were unable to break the Collective’s high-orbit blockade.”

“The combat theatre in Mokasha has been forced into a stalemate.” Dandy answers. “The Confederacy’s plan was to cut off the system to prevent resupply, and grind down the Collective’s invasion fleet. However, they did not move fast enough; the Confederacy’s fleet was too cautious with their attacks. This gave the Collective time to consolidate their assimilation of Mokasha, and retask its infrastructure to supply the invasion fleet. As a result, the invasion fleet is continually being resupplied by the planet it is defending, while the Confederacy fleet is receiving supplies from outside the system. Neither side currently has the positioning to break the stalemate without incurring substantial losses, and so they have entrenched themselves in their current positions, both waiting for the other to falter or let down their guard.”

“Collective’s gonna win out.” Milor says after swallow of milk. “They’re pretty good at playing the waiting game.”

“If the Colloquium would stop sitting on their hands, they could get a joint taskforce together and send them out to break the stalemate.” Ozzy points out with his fork.

“Even if they did, it’s not like they can salvage Mokasha.” Milor shrugs. “That entire planet is assimilated by now. There’s no Mokashans left to save; they’re all a part of the Collective. That’s why the Colloquium hasn’t done anything; they know they’d be wasting ships on a world that can’t be reclaimed.”

“What are we talking about?” Kayenta asks, stealing another blackberry off Jazel’s plate.

“Something that’s too depressing to be talking about over breakfast.” I say, taking the opportunity to change the topic. “Let’s talk about something else. Like… oh, the Talingrad Incident!”

Everyone around the table lights up at that, including Kayenta and Jazel, because that was something that both of them actually saw.

“Ohohoho, the Talingrad Incident.” Ozzy chuckles, leaning back in his chair. “Lemme tell ya, I did not know Songbird’s underwear looked like that.”

“Oh, I know, right?” Milor exclaims. “And then the part where he stuffed the pigeon in the rocket launcher and fired it at the pop star? I did not see that coming.”

“That poor pigeon.” Dandy says, shaking her head.

“Oh, oh! Was that the thing where the blue vampire punched a dragon in the face?” Kayenta asks, her silver ears erect. “That was cool! I liked watching that!”

“Didn’t they arm-wrestle after that?” Jazel asks, nibbling on a chunk of mango.

“Yeah, and that’s when the pop star stole his pants.” I say, stab-stacking my remaining chunks of pancake. “Gotta say, that was the craziest concert I ever saw broadcast to the entire galaxy.”

“Ah.” Milor sighs, leaning back in his chair as he sips from his milk. “Good shit.”

“I’m just sayin’, if you want proof that Songbird didn’t kill Nova, I’m pretty sure the Talingrad incident is all the proof you—” Ozzy begins.

“Alright, conversation’s over. Moving on. We ain’t opening that can of worms.” I interrupt before Ozzy can start on his conspiracy theory nonsense. “Jazel, Kaya, Milor, you’re on dailies today. Dandy and I will put together the schedule for the next couple of assignments, so we can start planning for the visit to New Aurescura. Ozzy, you’re on dishes today. Any questions before we get started?”

Jazel raises a hand. “Uh, can I get one of the vials for Kaya?” he asks. Kayenta is leaned in close to him, murmuring in his ear as her own silver ears twitch and pivot. “Not right away, it can wait for later. Just… sometime later today.”

“Yeah. Sure.” I nod. “I can see about that later today. Anything else that need to be discussed, guys?”

“Should cover it for me.” Milor say, reaching to stack more pancakes on his plate.

When no one else says anything, I nod, standing up. “Sounds good. Dinner tonight at six, so make sure you’re there at five so we can start prep. Let’s get to it.” With that, I head for the sink to put away my dishes, while the others start wrapping up their breakfast. Reaching the door, I look over my shoulder, waiting for Dandy.

“You don’t need to wait for me, Ms. Arrignis.” she says as she makes her way over to me. “I can easily catch up.”

“I don’t have to.” I smile, stepping through the door with her. “But I want to.”

Event Log: Lysanne Arrignis

Dandelion Drift: Core Vault

4:45pm SGT

“Annnnnd… there we go.”

Dandy turns around with one of the vials of Jazel’s soul, holding it out to me. The glass is frosted from the cryochamber we’ve been keeping it in, and it’s cold to the touch as I take it and roll it up in a napkin to protect it in case it gets dropped. “This is what, the eight vial we’ve pulled? Ninth?”

“Eleventh.” Dandy says, pushing the cover back onto the cryochamber and twisting the handle until the hermetic seal hisses back into place. “She downed five vials to grow back the tail that had gotten cut off. Since then, she has been consuming them at a rate of roughly one every month.”

“And how many do we have left in storage?” I ask as I step over the thick data and power cables in the core vault, heading back to the door.

“One hundred and thirty-eight. At current rate of consumption, that works out to roughly nine and a half years of supply.” Dandy answers as she follows me.

“Nine and a half years.” I murmur as I step back out into the hall. “Pretty much a decade. But still limited.”

“Are you concerned about what will happen when the supply runs out?” Dandy asks, the door to the core vault spirals shut behind her, before the blast door closes over it and locks into place.

“A bit.” I admit, tucking the vial into the inner pocket of my jacket. “It’s good that we’ve got a supply now, and we won’t have to worry about it for years, but the fundamentals haven’t changed. We will eventually run out, and she will still need to feed.”

“True. But it gives us nine years more to find a solution, which allows us more latitude than we had before.” Dandy points out. “If all else should fail, Kaya and Jazel can return to their previous arrangement, where she fed on him once a month. It may not be ideal, but they made it work for six months, and may very well be able to make it work for longer.”

“Yes, but that had a consistent negative effect on Jazel. I have the feeling it would wear him down over time.” I grimace. “We need an actual solution, Dandy. But I’m not sure there is one. There’s always a price for immortality; the vampires and Shanarae are examples of this — no matter how you cut it, they have to subsist on blood and stolen life force, respectively. All the research and experiments over centuries and millennia have never found a way to free them from that.” I pull a deep breath, and let it out. “Maybe this is the price for Kaya’s immortality. She has to consume souls to stay alive, and there’s no way to substitute or circumvent that.”

Dandy does not respond right away, probably mulling that over. “Yes,” she says at length. “that does make sense. What Kaya, vampires, and Shanarae all have in common is that they are arcane creatures, and the laws of the universe demand an exchange for what would otherwise be impossible. Perhaps this is the exchange that is required to balance the universal math, and there is simply no other way to reconcile that equation.”

I sigh out a deep breath. “It’s just hard to accept that. But all things have their price, I suppose. All we get to decide is whether or not we’re willing to pay it.” Pulling my phone out, I briefly check the news, then put it away. “I don’t know what’s wrong with the universe. Seems like the whole galaxy is goin’ crazy nowadays. Collective assimilating worlds, Challengers coming back, Laughing Alice escaping from prison… feels like everything’s coming apart at the edges sometimes.”

“The news has that effect on people. Positive events are not reported with as much enthusiasm as negative events, and so the latter receive more coverage.” Dandy replies. “It can result in a distorted view of reality, and does not reflect the fact that much of the galaxy remains stable and functional. Society may look like it’s coming apart at the seams, but that is only because the news is reporting on the places where it is coming apart at the seams. It does not bother to report on all the places where it is remaining intact.”

“I suppose that’s true.” I admit, tucking my hands in my pockets. I could always count on Dandy to provide a grounded, level take on things. “Still. The galaxy seems more unsettled than it was a year ago. Songbird is still on the loose, even though CURSE promised they’d bring him down months after he resurfaced. He’s even leading a new band of rebels calling themselves the Valiant, and they’re recruiting retired Challengers. And what with the Collective invasion in Mokasha, the Colloquium and the Vaunted are distracted; rogue Challengers are no longer their biggest concern, and they’re focused on shoring up the border that the nations share with Collective space… the political pressure is easing off Songbird and his people, which is giving them freedom to expand. And CURSE seems to be doing a shit job of keeping them contained.”

“You have been paying more attention to the news than I realized.” Dandy says, brushing some of her strawberry locks out of her eyes. “I did not know you were this engaged in current affairs.”

“I’m not, normally, because the news depresses me.” I reply in frustration. “But it’s impossible to avoid it. It’s everywhere. Every time I jump on the galaxynet, every time I turn on the radio, blaring from every screen in the major cities we visit — you just can’t avoid it. Ozzy will ramble about it if you let him, and Milor keeps the news on in the common room while he’s folding his laundry or lazing around, so I catch glimpses of it when I walk by. You just can’t escape it.”

“Perhaps the return to New Aurescura will be just as good for you as it is for Jazel.” Dandy says. “You could do with a vacation, with everything that has happened this year. Some time to rest, and relax, with friends and family, might do you well.”

“I like resting and relaxing with you, though.” I mumble, brushing my shoulder against hers. “That’s good enough for me.”

“Yes, but you need relaxation beyond what I can provide.” Dandy points out gently. “You and I have moments of relaxation, but those are the lulls in the daily grind. You need a vacation — days, maybe a couple weeks, away from the grind. Time to truly relax.”

I consider that, mull it over in my head. Dandy wasn’t wrong — I did enjoy the time we spent relaxing together, but it was always like taking a breath before diving back into the water. And it always seemed like that, only enough time to grab a breath, maybe two, before diving back under. Being able to come up for air and stay there for a while sounded nice.

“Yeah… yeah, I suppose.” I concede. “A vacation would be nice, I guess. Some time off to really relax, and not having to worry about tomorrow.”

Dandy nods. “Exactly. It can be a vacation for you too, not just Jazel. Besides, New Aurescura is your homeworld, is it not? I understand many organics have a sentimental attachment to their homeworlds.”

“Yeah. A lot of people are attached to their homeworlds. I suppose I’m not an exception, in that regard.” I say as we round the corner, getting closer to the kitchen. “I’m no patriot, but… home is home. New Aurescura has its flaws, but it’s a good world. Good people. Lots of good things to see and do there.” I glance aside to Dandy, smiling at her. “I’d like you to come do some of them with me.”

Dandy’s eyes widen somewhat. “You want me to come with you? Down to your homeworld?”

“It’s going to be a vacation for the rest of us. It should be a vacation for you as well.” I point out. “You’re able to run in two places at once, right? You should come down to the surface and spend time with the rest of us. I know there’s things you’ve wanted to do that you haven’t been able to do because you were confined to the ship before you were jailbroken.”

I can see the gears turning in her eyes. Metaphorically speaking; Dandy is advanced enough that she doesn’t have gears, at least in this frame. “Yes… yes, I suppose that is within the realm of possibility. If the entire crew is taking surface leave, then I will have to bring out my auxiliary frame to take care of the dailies while my primary frame is on the surface. But it should be possible.”

“Perfect.” I smile, bumping my hip against hers. “I’ll plan on taking you out to some fun places, then. And if there’s anything particular you want to see on New Aurescura, just put together a list and I’ll see what I can arrange.”

“Alright. I will consider it.” Dandy says as the kitchen door spirals open for us. “This will be the first vacation I have ever gone on. It is an unusual feeling.”

“You’ll love it, I promise. Alright, let’s get this dinner rolling — how much you wanna bet Milor’s going to be moaning and groaning about brussel sprouts being the main course?”

Event Log: Jazel Jaskolka

Dandelion Drift: Jazel’s Room

9:18pm SGT

“Little witch?”

I wick my hair out of my eyes, opening them as the water continues to drip from the holes in the ceiling of the shower, plattering on my head and shoulders like rain. I can hear Kaya calling my name from the bed, and by the way her tone is lilted, I can tell she has a question for me. “Yes?” I call over the shower’s glass partition.

“Jaaaaaaaazeeeeeel?” She must not have heard me, because she’s calling again, this time drawing out my name as if saying it longer would make it more likely to hear her.

“I can hear you, Kaya.” I call a little louder, passing my hand under the shower’s shampoo dispenser. “Can it wait five minutes? Still washing my hair.”

“No!” I can hear her feet thump to the floor as she rolls off the bed, then pads into the bathroom. A moment later the partition retracts a crack as she pushes a data slate in, with the comic she’s reading on the screen. “What does that word mean?”

I pause in the middle of lathering my hair, using a wrist to try and wipe water out of my eyes without getting suds in them, so I can squint at what she’s trying to show me. “Which one?” I ask, staring at the dialogue bubbles on the screen.

“That long one. The one that starts with a U.” she says, pointing to the dialogue bubble with her free hand.

“Ubiquitous?” I guess.

“Is that how you say it?”

“Yeah. You-bik-qui-tus. Ubiquitous.”

“Ubiquitous.” she repeats slowly, rolling it over in her mouth as she withdraws the data slate from the shower. “What does it mean?”

“Well, it means… something that is everywhere.” I say, trying to think about how to describe the meaning.

“Why don’t they just say everywhere, then?”

I slowly start lathering my hair again. “Well, it’s like… I mean, everywhere and ubiquitous are similar, but they don’t exactly mean the same thing.” I explain. “You can use everywhere to describe a lot of things, but ubiquitous is only used with certain things. Nobody says air is ubiquitous; they say air is everywhere. But stuff like… cars, and internet, those are something that you can call ubiquitous. Like everyone knows them, and uses them? Ubiquitous has sort of… utilitarian dimensions, I suppose?”

Kayenta is quiet for a long moment. “But everyone uses air, right? Everyone breathes? So you could say air is ubiquitous.” She says the word slowly, like she’s still testing it out.

That stumps me. “I mean… well, yeah…”

“So everywhere and ubiquitous means the same thing.” she concludes.

“I mean, technically, yeah, but they’re not exactly the same…”

“Mm.” she says, and I can hear her footsteps padding away. “They mean the same thing to me. Thank you!”

There’s a soft flump as she flops back on the bed, and goes back to reading. I return to washing my hair, shortly rinsing it out. Over the past few months, I’d started teaching Kayenta how to read, which was slow going at first. We had to start from the very basics — letter recognition, letter sounds, how they composed into words, then word recognition, and how to sound out words she had never seen before. I wasn’t exactly bright about it, because after she’d memorized the alphabet, I’d tried to teach her using short and simple news articles, and watching the news. But she struggled with that, because even the short news articles could be dense and boring, while the new shows had too much going on at once - pictures on the screen, chyrons scrolling at the bottom, text on the sides, abbreviations galore. It was Milor that recommended using manga and comics to help her learn — it had pictures and color to keep her engaged, but they weren’t moving images, and the word density in drawn comics was a lot lower most other publications. That had been the big breakthrough — getting her started on the Challenger comics.

Once we’d gotten her started on those, she really took off and started reading and learning on her own. It helped that she’d spent six months watching the Challenger anime with us — she had the background and foundation already in place, which made it easier for her to get right into the comics and understand a lot of what was going on in them. And once she got into it, she started reading on her own — I hadn’t needed to poke or prod her to do it. It wasn’t long before she started buying and downloading all the Challenger comics we didn’t have, which… was a lot. I think she managed to rack up over four hundred credits in online comic purchases before Dandy noticed the charges on one of the company cards CURSE had issued us, and instantly locked it down. After that I’d gotten a stern dressing-down from Dandy for saving payment information on the sites I sometimes purchased from, which was what had enabled Kayenta to go on her comic-buying spree.

But past that, I was allowed to use the company card to keep buying comics for Kayenta, on a one-by-one basis, so that Dandy could log each transaction and file it under ‘education’ on the Drift’s budget. It was more likely to fly under the radar that way, and if CURSE’s finance department noticed and started asking questions, we’d just tell them the truth: we were using the comics to teach an ancient soul-eater how to read.

Turning off the water, I shake my head like a wet dog, whipping out all the excess water in my hair. It was starting to get a bit long; I would have to get it trimmed at some point. Sliding open a panel in the shower wall, I pull one of the folded towels, turning on the drying vents as I do so. As they kick on, a warm stream of air starts rushing out of the ceiling, chasing water off my skin at the same time that I’m toweling off, so that I’m almost completely dry by the time I slide open the partition and step out of the shower. Grabbing my nightclothes off the toilet cover, I start to hop into them, making sure I’ve got my bottoms on before I begin making my way back to the doorway.

I’m pulling my shirt on as I step back into my room, and Kayenta is sprawled out on my bed, already in her pajamas, with the data slate held over her head, lips silently moving as she sounds out the words on the comic pages. Occasionally she’ll make a flicking motion to move to the next page, but otherwise, it’s only her tails twitching and her eyes moving as they track over the images on each page. Reaching up as I cross the room, I tap each of the lanterns hanging from the ceiling, dimming them to lower, drowsier light.

“How close are you to the end of that one?” I ask as I reach the coathooks by the door, and start digging through my work jacket.

She doesn’t answer right away, lips still moving as she reaches the end of whatever dialogue bubble she’s on. “Almost there. Few more pages.” she says without taking her eyes off the screen.

I smile a little. “Take your time. Don’t let me rush you.” Going back to digging in my jacket, I find and pull out the vial of soul that Lysanne had given me after dinner — Kayenta’s allotment for this month. The green plasma inside undulates like numinous, ethereal fog with a mind of its own; the remnants of a life I’d once lived.

Now little more than food for the soul-eater sprawled on my bed.

It made me wonder if one day, all my memories and experiences might be nothing more than food for some other creature. Memories that would be eaten, and metabolized into raw power and life; stripped of their information as they were converted back into the energy that would keep something alive for a little longer. My life, and all these struggles, and emotions, and achievements, might disappear back into an endless cycle, forgotten and erased as they became the building blocks for something else.

“Done.” Kayenta declares behind me, accompanied by the pluff of the slate being plopped on the bedcovers. “Is it time for bed?”

I turn about. “Maybe. Nine is a little early for me, though.” I hold up the vial. “Feeling hungry?”

Her attention instantly sharpens, and she twists around on the bed, sitting up with her fuzzy silver ears tilted forward in rapt attention. “Oh! Yes yes yes, please!” she says, holding out one open hand.

I cross back over to the bed, setting the vial in her hand. She quickly pulls it close, working on popping the cap open as I settle on the bed next to her. Once she’s got the cap off, she puts the vial to her mouth and inhales — since the contents aren’t liquid, it’s easier to breathe it in than it is to try and drink it. When it’s down to the dregs she tilts her head back, sucking down the last bits, before rocking forward on her hands and knees, hunching her shoulders as a shiver runs up her back. Each of her silver tails flare out, glowing bright before letting off a misting of argent motes that slowly evaporate. Letting out a deep, satisfied sigh, she tips over on her side, falling into my lap and rolling over on her back as she stretches out with a blissful smile.

“Good stuff?” I ask, reaching down to pick up the vial from where she’d dropped it on the bed, and close the cap on it once more.

“Mhmm.” she nods, eyes still closed as her toes and tails curl happily.

“Glad to hear it.” Reaching over, I set the vial on the bedside, so I can take it to the lab in the morning. If there’s any vestiges of soul left in it, I can empty it into the terrariums where we keep the spirit blooms. “Ready to sleep now?”

“Nuh.” she says, hooking her fingers into my shirt and tugging. “I feel flittery. Let’s go ride the dragons!”

I set a hand on the bed to keep her from pulling me down all the way. “Vorcruelians, remember? They’re only loosely related to true dragons. And besides, the vorcruelians are sleeping right now. The biosphere’s currently on its night cycle, as is the rest of the ship.” I’m starting to think I should’ve saved the vial for the morning, now that I’m being reminded how riled up she gets after feeding.

“Then let’s wrestle!” She springs up without warning, more or less tackling me on the spot and bowling me over in the process. It’s becoming clear that there’s no way Kayenta’s going to sleep like this, so I grin and wrap an arm around her, aiming to use the momentum to roll her over. I’m gonna have to wear her out in order to get her to settle down, so maybe a little wrestling will do the trick.

We spend a few minutes grappling with each other, the covers getting kicked around on the bed and the pillows pushed out of the way. It’s not a real contest; Kayenta is stronger than me, stronger than pretty much everyone on the ship except maybe Dandy, and we both know it. She could have me pinned down in seconds if she wanted to, but over the last months, I’ve been teaching her how to play nice, among other things. She’s learned how to scale it back when she’s roughhousing with others, instead of going all out.

But she does still have a competitive spirit, and every time I get close to getting a good grip on her, she manages to squirm and wriggle loose with a chittering laugh. She eventually manages to get on top and pins my arms to my chest, leaning on them as she grins at me. “I win.”

I yield my struggling, instead catching my breath as I concede. “You win.” I remain still, knowing better than trying to squirm free. The more I resist, the longer she’ll hold me down; I have to remain still until she decides to let go of me.

“Even after a shower, you smell like cinnamon and coals.” she observes as she lets go of my wrists. “My little cinnamon witch.” Her nose brushes mine as she kisses me once, twice, then a third time, longer and more drawn out. I savor each one without complaint, only realizing halfway through the third kiss that the vial of soul is doing the talking here. She’s still revved up, and as I stare into her august eyes, I realize she wants more. The way her thumb wanders across my bottom lip, the way her fingers are hooked in my shirt, the way she lingers just above me…

I know I shouldn’t. I just took a shower. I just got clean.

“Cinnamon witch.” she breathes.

I don’t know why, but something about that pushes me over the edge. “System.” I say, speaking just loud enough to be heard by the room’s systems. “Lock the door. Turn on the sound damping.”

Kayenta grins. “Smart little witch.” she murmurs, fingers wandering under my shirt as her teeth click together millimeters from my lips. “Now, let’s wrassle.”

“If you insist.” I smirk, hooking an arm over her shoulders, pulling her down enough to nip a kiss off her lips. That gets a pleasantly surprised growl out of her, tails lashing as she kicks the rest of the covers off the bed.

It’ll be a while yet before either of us are worn out enough to go to sleep.