Chapter 3 - Impromptu House Party

[{|}]
When: 03.13.993 A.C. - 1833 hours F.C.T.
Where: magejosh's home on the west coast of the Lake at The Elderwild, outside of the village of Morinrayne, in the country of Tyrnolique
Who: Our odd protagonist and his new friends.

We came through the front door rolling in the food filled trash cans from outside that had been magically restored. I was so focused on getting both bins rolled inside without the dogs or cats getting out the door I didn't notice the animals weren't trying to get out the door. It was oddly silent as we all made it inside and shut the door.

No one was in the living room, but that wasn't the most unnerving part. My wife's dog, Mr. Grumpy Gump, never let someone come in the front door without barking at them unless he was asleep, and the other dogs are pretty excitable too. It's a rare day when they all sleep through you entering the door normally. With this much noise from the trash cans coming up the stairs and us pulling in one at a time. That's unnatural. I paused and looked around the room again as I called out, "Hello? Is anyone here?" 

As soon as I say that, all my dogs begin to bark, and the air ripples in front of us. An illusion of an empty room breaks like a shattering mirror, revealing the four friends we'd left here are standing there, holding the dogs, well four of them. My little teacup chihuahua rescue is not with them. She's probably hiding in my office, she doesn't like new people at all. One of the ladies speaks as the illusion falls away, "Oh good you are back, we were growing worried. Then we heard rumbling noises outside again and hid behind Jasper's illusion spell."

Roscoe chuckled, "Good to see you too Sirin, Lia and I are going to escort you all safely back to the village. The fish monsters have been dealt with." I felt apprehensive as he said that. 'I know nothing about this world yet except there are monsters and magic. And a nearby village I should be able to find again,' I thought to myself. Roscoe continued, "It's already dark so we don't want to wait any longer."

Feeling more than a little anxiety rising as I hear that, 'I'm not ready to be all alone yet, there is so much I don't know yet.' I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. "Well, before you go you should help me eat some of this fresh pizza before it gets cold." I said to them trying to sound nonchalant as I moved to the kitchen and set the stack of pizza boxes up on the counter near the paper plates. I flipped open a lid and grabbed a slice on a paper plate and passed it on over to Roscoe, who was closest after I mentioned more pizza. Everyone else followed asking what's a pizza, to which Lia said it was like a meat-pie sorta.

My wifes terrier grew agitated at this point. It's not uncommon, and he began to bark loudly at everyone moving to congregate in the kitchen area as he paced around between us all, pinballing attention between us because he's old and going blind so he can't quite see our faces and wants his mommy. I bend down and call to him, "Mr. Gump, it's okay baby boy, momma isn't home right now, she's on an adventure. I'll take care of you." He sniffs the air in my direction, he can't see very well in his old age but he still rushes me and jumps in my arms as he shakes a little.

Roscoe dropped his slice of pizza as I'd leaned down to do that. I hadn't noticed it as the change happened, but I looked down at my hands as I pet the puppy having an anxiety attack in my arms, they were my hands again. Not the petite elven woman's hands they had been a moment ago.

Roscoe stares at me and asks in a level tone, "Are you a demon?"

I smile my most disarmingly charming smile I have, it's not the most reassuring or effective. "I don't think so, I like to think I'm pretty cute. Well, that's not true, but I do think I'm relatively a good person." I say earnestly. "I looked like this in my world, having a perfectly nice day until that weird storm popped up and that purple-green lightning stuck in front of me. I was in darkness falling for what felt like forever as a weird voice spoke to me telling me I was being placed in a new body on a new world. Then I woke up here in this world in that elf woman body just before I met you all."

Jasper butts into the conversation, "Your world, in a different body you say? Like the Worldwalkers?" Sirin's eyebrow raises ever so slightly at that last word, only Lia seems to notice though.

"Yeah. I'm magejosh, well, just Josh but it's a way to set me apart from other people named that, like a nickname." I explained. "I come from a world called earth. In a nation called America. And I didn't know magic before I woke up here. Nor do I have a clue what you mean by Worldwalkers."

Everyone was already startled by my physical transformation in the blink of an eye from a petite elven woman to a middle aged human man with salt and pepper long hair and beard. Jasper however went paler than he already was at what I'd said for some reason. I felt a little self-conscious from their looks. Then I realized the buttons at the top of my tunic had popped free when I transformed shapes. My man-boobs were prominently showing cleavage covered in black hair and tattoos. My dad bod keg of a waist was straining the material now, stretching it tight over my form as the rest of the buttons fought valiantly to keep the shirt together. And that's when I felt the cotton pants I was wearing tear along the seams the last few inches on each side and fall to the ground. My embarrassment reaches new heights of expression in the reddening of my cheeks and ears flushing with blood flow, and they aren't the only spaces. I bolt past them all to get to my bedroom and find some pants to put on. They all chuckle as I flee.

I marvel at my bedroom. We're adults, my partners and I. And each of us are compulsive cleaners, but we still manage to acquire hoards of junk. And now all that junk is perfectly clean and looks new. All my pants have no holes in them either. Even the clothes in each of our hampers are clean now. "This is wild AF." I couldn't even think of a better description.

I see the ashtray on the table at the head of the bead where I'd smoked a preroll last night and am pleased to see it had a full preroll laying in it with a few others and a few full cigarettes. "Very Nice" I say grabbing the lighter and a preroll that looks and smells like one of the ones with hash extracts infused into them. "That'll do pig, that'll do!" I say in my terrible impersonation of that classic line while I walk back out of my bedroom lighting the preroll joint.

Everyone is standing around in my kitchen eating pizza. I spot that nearly empty 30-pack of beers from our last barbecue is on a shelf nearby still, but it is full again. I open the case and start handing out the cans of beer. As they get their cans, I show them how to open the can and quickly drink the little bit of fizz that tries to escape. Then I start putting food stuff from the rolling trash bins into the deep freeze or fridge depending on where it should go. As I work I begin passing the joint. They each take a toke and pass it as I ask them how they like the pizza and beer. Looks like Lia is already on her second beer and Roscoe is eyeballing the case on the shelf.

"I don't know how long I will be stuck in this world, but I get the feeling I'm stuck here for a while. Long enough I need to figure out how to survive here. Are there any jobs I could do with my magic that might be valuable? And how much do things cost here? Like how much would it cost me to stay in an Inn and eat in a tavern for every meal for a week? What kind of money do you use in this world? What is the economic model of your country? For that matter, what is the government type? I really hope it's not one where I have to fight to keep my property from anyone with higher station. Wait, that archdouche can't take my house can he?" I ask them, my tone starting inquisitive and building into an anxiety driven fever pitch of rapid fire thoughts posed as questions.

Tomas looks concerned, glances to Roscoe before he says, "No, Sir Aliester can no more take the property of anyone in the country who had a Lawfully Binding Deed. I'm sure you have that, even though you and your home flew here magically."

My face fell as he finished, "What does Lawfully Binding Deed mean though? I do have my deed locked in my office file cabinet. But it's registered in my home county, on my world."

Roscoe cuts in, "Well, as long as it's legal in your country, then by our laws we would have to respect it and treat your land as sovereign soil of your home country. There might be a complaint since people would think you took our land as your own, but since you had two officers of the law and four other citizens bear witness that you brought your land with you and the ground here opened up to allow yours to rest where it does, that complaint is invalidated since our kingdom lost no land. Additionally, it appears to have been due in some part to the effects of a wild storm, a natural disaster of wild magic, which none but the gods and forces of the universe can be to blame for since it's power is beyond our ability to control. This is known by all. So, with our sworn statements, that guarantees your status as a sovereign representative of your country on your own countries soil."

I feel a little bit of the panic deflating as I follow the logic of his words. Then I remember my other questions, "What about my other problems?"

Mirelle says, "We use gold coins as the major standard, fifty of them makes a pound of gold. Silver is the next major coin type down in value, there used to be another one between them but it wasn't as popular. Ten silver is worth a single gold coin. Ten copper are worth a single silver. And in the other direction, ten gold are worth one platinum coin. What were the other questions again?" As she finished speaking she took a lit preroll Tomas passed her way before digging into another slice of pizza.

"Okay, gold standard. And how much does it take to live in an inn and eat at a tavern I think you call them for a week?" I say, before tacking on, "And is a week 7 days?"

Jasper responds first this time, "Yes a week is seven days, a month is four weeks, a year is thirteen months. Plus the solstices and equinoxes, making for three-hundred and sixty-eight days in a year."

"Huh, okay, and the cost of living?" I ask taking in the changes to the calendar.

Everyone in the group looks at Roscoe, his face gets a little red as he says, "What?"

Tomas and Lia both roll their eyes and Tomas says, "It's not like we don't all know you know those costs, you're constantly spouting them in the taverns trying to convince every newcomer in town to rent your cottage."

Roscoe shrugs, "Okay, well, it really depends on which tavern or inn you are staying in, are you paying by the night or for the week upfront. Most inns and taverns with rooms for rent provide breakfast with your rental cost. If you don't care for a clean room alone or good food you could get away with seven silver coin a week, or if you live like a noble or rich merchant maybe seventy gold a week. But someone who just wants to live comfortably, maybe seven to fourteen gold coins for a week. Are you not planning to live in your home? I could look into finding a seneschal who could handle renting it for you if you like, I know a really good one after all. And as for that reward Sir Aliester mentioned. It's usually worth twenty-five gold. That should help you get started at least while you figure out what you might like to do as a job, what did you do for work on your world?"

That was a big knowledge dump I did not expect from the cornfed looking big guy. The way he broke it down reminded me of my years as a salesman, I'd seen some real pros do that kind of a casual switch to fast talking numbers used to great advantage to get the sale. Good thing for me he wasn't trying to pitch me. I took a breath, lit another preroll and started passing it around the big circle before asking, "And the government, what's it like? Do you have rights? Will I if I'm a sovereign representative, is that what you called it?"

 Sirin answers me this time, "We have something we call a constitutional monarchy. This region, called the Morinrayne Region, is currently governed by Sir Aliester, but that is a stewardship until the crown appoints a new Baroness or Baron of this region. This region is a border region on the northwestern edge of the country. We are within the county of Everspring, in the State of Mystvale, in the great nation of Tyrnolique. Our nation is one of the oldest in the Felston Accord, one of the founding six member nations. Now the Accord numbers 1001 nations all working for the commonwealth of all its members. Only took a thousand years to grow to this size. I digress, yes we as citizens have rights. Those of us in guilds often have other rights and obligations to go with them. And the nobles have even more rights and duties to the crown and citizens."

"Wow, okay that is a lot of suck, but better than it could be. How do I fit in with all that since I'm not a citizen?" I ask, almost worried to hear the answer.

Sirin's eyes go wide, "I think it's rather enlightened of a system. Not all countries are so progressive. But as for you, you are treated like a diplomat. Kinda like a minor noble in many ways, but in others you have more rights than all but royalty."

"Yeah that did not clear things up for me really, but it was informative so you get an A for effort," I said to her.

"Well if you know a better one I'm all ears," she says a little huffily before someone hands her a joint that was going around.

"I can think of a couple off the top of my head, but like I said it could be a lot worse. It could be a theocracy or hereditary rule system. We can go over them some time later if you like. Wait, do you have actual gods though, that like talk to the priests and stuff? That might make theocracy less bad, depending on their platform I guess." I rambled.

"Yes, we have deities. Some heroic priests and paladins have said the gods have spoken to them. I've not seen it myself but I've no reason to doubt their claims, given the omens and holy power so many have displayed, including resurrecting the dead fully to life instead of the abominations made by necromancers." Sirin continued informing me.

"Awesome, that's a hope filling bit of news in all this. What about jobs I can use my magic with? Any of those in the village?"

Sirin smiles at that, and Jasper cuts in, "It depends on what kind of magic you know. I saw you make fire, but there's not a lot of call for that as a job, except as an adventurer maybe. What other spells do you know?"

I realize I don't know the names of anything I know like that. But I get a weird feeling, and I reach inside my waistband, my hand curls in an odd way and my fingers brush against a book. I grab hold and pull it up out of my pants, somehow knowing it is my spellbook. I have no clue how it wound up in my pants or how I didn't feel it before now. Just that my fingers tingled in a funny way as I grabbed the book. I open the book, flipping through it, it's not very full, but it does seem to have more than the fire spell. I feel proud of recognizing it from seeing the incantation. I turn the book towards Jasper, "I know these I think."

He blinks at me, "You think?" His tone strained and cautious as he takes the spellbook, looking at the pages. He flips through the book, back and forth, looking from page to page, at every note, diagram, and set of glyphs, sigils, and runes. He takes a long few minutes, then says half-incredulously, "Half of these spells aren't even from the same type of magic as the others. None are super high level, but the different types is very odd. What is your multiclass build?"

"I have no idea what that might be." I say honestly.

"Well," He continues on, "With these spells, you could make good money as a support staff to adventurers. The healing and mending spells alone could do you well. You could also find a craftsman who could make use of the guidance and mending spells you could cast for them all day long. Any of those would be worth a gold or two a day, working for about six to eight hours. They will usually feed you lunch while working with them as well. Now this ritual spell, the arcane assistant, that could fetch good money, easily a gold per casting. And the earth molding spell would be pretty useful at the farms and in the mines. Though how much I'm not sure really."

"Okay, so I can find work that won't be back breaking labor. That's fantastic." I say.

"This is fantastic, I have to try and make it." Tomas says as he holds up his third, maybe fourth piece of pizza.

"Agreed it is quite good, is it okay if I grab another beer? And do you have more of that music you showed us in your Jeep carriage?" Roscoe says hopefully.

Sirin gets a hurt look on her face as she looks at him, his face goes sheepish as I say, "Of course feel free to serve yourself, the case is there on the shelf everyone. You liked that heavy metal earlier did you, maybe you'll like this, it's a power ballad." And with that I hit play on the next song on my downloaded playlist as he happily popped the top on another can of beer.

They all listen transfixed at my Loud AF phone, I'd picked it for that reason in fact. That and all its gadgets and milspec ruggedization. Siren's eyes go wide as the music starts and she smiles as her head moves to the rhythm. She squeezes into Roscoe as the song goes on saying, "This is Fantastic!"

Mirelle gets loud for the first time since I'd thrown that spark of flame to help her escape that arcane koi. "No, THIS is What's Fantastic," She exclaims while holding the preroll. "I have to know what this herb is."

Lia laughs and says, "Of course she wants to know about an herb!" Then goes into a classic first time pot smoker giggle fit for a moment. 

I answer Mirelle, "It's called weed, or pot, or marijuana, or mary jane, or cannabis. It's a medicinal agent that helps with a variety of issues, and also serves as a general mood lifter for most people."

"That's a lot of names," Mirelle says before trying to say marijuana but calling it mary wannabus instead. She looks a little confused at the look I make as she says that. I can't help but laugh, as the others join in.

Roscoe joins the laughing alongside Sirin as the loudest of the group, while Jasper says, "This ale in a carryable tankard is the most interesting thing about you so far my friend. That and the fact that this place is soaked in raw mana so thick that I'll probably be fully rested in another hour."

I was laughing pretty well with everyone's antics until Jasper said that last bit. "What do you mean Jasper?"

[{||}]
When: 03.13.993 A.C. - 1911 hours F.C.T.
Where: magejosh's home on the west coast of The Elderwild Lake, outside of the village of Morinrayne, in the country of Tyrnolique
Who: Our odd protagonist and his new friends.

"Don't you sense it? You can do magic can you not?" Jasper asked me. 

"I'm not from this world remember? I just learned magic in the blink of an eye by some weird voice in the void between my world and this one." I replied followed by taking a long draw from the preroll and passing it on. "For that matter, I'm not even speaking the language I know right now." I say as the realization dawns on me. 'What else am I not even noticing yet?' I asked myself, a sinking feeling in my gut there was something important I'd just missed already.

"What do you mean? You are speaking the common tongue." Sirin interjected.

"Right, no.. Not what I mean.." I said in common tongue, then focused on speaking English, "This is my common tongue, it's called English, American English, with a slight southern accent because I was born and raised in Arkansas." 

Everyone blinked at the second part of my response to that. Sirin spoke up again, "What was that again? I didn't understand all of it, about half way through is when I was able to activate my ability that lets me magically comprehend languages, but it had something familiar about it."

"I was saying that my common tongue is called English, well a variant of it from America, my home country, and it was the only language I spoke fluently before arriving in this world. Now I have a sense I know other languages too." I explained.

"Very interesting," Jasper said, his head turning towards Sirin, "America, wasn't that something the Georgian Armies were searching for a couple centuries ago when the war was still young?"

"That's what it was! Thanks for jogging my memory Jasper. America, that's the Promised Land of the Georgian Theocracy. Their Grand-Dragon-Emperor says he was sent from the Promised Land to deliver the Righteous from the Unclean and Unholy of this land and lead the Chosen back to the Promised Land. It's a major part of their crusade to exterminate my people, their God hates elves and has named them neither Unclean or Unholy, instead opting to call us Unworthy and without souls. This is why they think it is okay to enslave us and do whatever they want, including use our lives as magical batteries in their war machines," Sirin explained, "There are rumors they have a waygate that the Grand Dragon says is sealed until they have cleansed the land of all the Unclean and Unholy."

The whole group eyes me suspiciously at that revelation. My eyes go wide at that, "Hey, wait, America was a huge nation, some 350 million people as of the last census I saw. And just like every other group or nation on my world, not everyone in the group or nation is representative of its other members. Assholes exist everywhere. Especially places like Georgia, at least the one on my world that is. But that sounds more like Nazis or some kind of genocidal warlord or something than a garden variety racist redneck I'd expect from Georgia."

"350 million..." Jasper and Sirin both echo what I said and trail off at the thought.

 "Ha, you have already met the proof of the truth of that statement in this world while we were in the village." Lia said wryly. "Old Aliester clearly doesn't like you already, I'd be careful around him, he scanned your stats and activated his protection aura when he approached to make sure you weren't fey or some other form of outsider after seeing that lightning storm spell you cast," she warned me honestly before finishing her beer. I grab her another as I move the kitchen trash can to the living room after emptying it of the repaired items that were in it. I pass the beer to her as I say, "Thanks for that tip, yeah, he seems like a real archdouche."

Sirin and Jasper nod in recognition at the name, the former stifling a giggle and the latter clearly disliking the man if the look on his face is any indication. Which is hard to say as I'm only just now realizing he's not some skinny teenage human, his ears are the wrong shape and kinda hairy. Then I look closer at his head, and his eyes are too big for his small sized frame.

Roscoe pipes up, "He's just a hardass because he served two tours in the border war between the Accord and Georgia. He is now responsible for the guard of the whole region until the Queen appoints a new Lord or Lady of the Morinrayne Region. And as the highest rank in his Arcane Order in this region, he's responsible for overseeing the training of the Novates and Initiates and keeping them from playing with forbidden magics. I know I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility, and I definitely don't want to go join the war for any tours. I serve on the guard because I love this village and want to help keep it safe, and it pays better than woodworking and carpentry does."

"Indeed my new friend, Indeed. It's all given me a lot to think about. Including, what am I going to do now that I'm here in this world? I think I have to find a way back home to my family if it is possible." I continued. "Do any of you know how I might get home, is there any truth to the waygate in Georgia you mentioned?"

They look back and forth at each other, and Sirin says, "I don't know if there is a way that is known by anyone here. I know I wouldn't trust anything from Georgia. I've heard a couple stories of people from other worlds traveling here. I don't think I've heard one of people from here going to other worlds, except the heavens and the hells, or sometimes the Land of the Fey. But maybe someone at the Capital, or working in the Archives of the Accord. We could ask the head librarian in the village library or check with the adventurers guild and see if there are any Bards or Troubadours from afar in the area that might know something."

Jasper goes to say something and chokes on it, Mirelle puts a hand on his shoulder as she says, "Are you okay Jasper?"

His face shifts like his attention wasn't even in the room with us and onto her eyes as he opens his mouth and clears his throat, "Um, No I'm Quite alright. It's just that, Master Cirion has been making me copy old spellbooks for him for a while now. One of them has a focus on Divination magics, and is mostly full of prophecies by the arcane researcher whose spellbook it is.The thing is, I'm copying a copy that Master Cirion copied when he was an apprentice for his Master. He doesn't think I know it's meant to be a test and when completed correctly, becomes my reward for completing his apprenticeship program."

He pauses, looking like he's stopped. And Lia can't help but ask, "What's that got to do with the price of tea in Savagea?"

Mirelle casts a sharp side eyed glare at Lia before Jaspers voice cuts the tension between the two. "Well, that is to say it is full of old predictions. Really old ones. Like this one," he said and took a breath before reciting,

• "In lands aloft, the shifter mage flies,
  Bearer of storms, on emerald skies alight.
  Chains shall break where the silent river cries,
  Freedom's dawn follows his soaring plight.

• When the guardian's blade corrupts the trust,
  A treacherous veil falls to the sage's thrust.
  Through shadows deep, by betrayed oaths rust,
  Lies fall to truth, and tyrants to dust.

• In twilight's womb, a nephilim's breath is sealed,
  His freedom won, the darkness is revealed.
  A starless void where light must yield,
  The mage’s hand shall both heal and wield.

• From ancient binds, a darkness springs anew,
  Unseen, it spreads beneath the moon's pale hue.
  In silence weeps the night, as terror grew,
  A mage's deed the cursed shadows slew.

• Beyond the veil where dusk and dawn entwine,
  Ascension of the Stairway of Destiny, the mage's sign.
  Through levels gained, his path will shine,
  To home's embrace, by fate's design."

"Whoa, really? You just rattled all that off the top of your head?" I said in disbelief.

Jasper takes a breath and says, "I was an archivist before I began my apprenticeship. I have a skill with memorization. It's one of the things that Master Cirion noticed about me that lead to him accepting my apprenticeship."

"So clearly you think that means me in that story right? What does it all mean?" I ask Jasper.

He says, "It could be, I don't know. I need to speak to Master Cirion tomorrow. Would you be willing to go with me?"

Lia chimed in, "What else is there from your world like this 'beer' I think you called it. Do your people make anything stronger?"

I smiled, and nod at Tomas standing near the refrigerator. "Will you open the door on the left of that tall box there, in the door, on shelf should be a bottle of amber liquor wrapped in a wicker weave sleeve." His hand lands on it as I say the words and he pulls it out of the freezer, while marveling at the freezing temps coming from it. "Go ahead and shut the door, no need to freeze the room." He quickly shuts the door like it might strike him, and Lia takes the bottle from his other hand, and tries to open it but it pops the plastic cap off the metal screw on lid.

I chuckle and say, "twist the little metal lid to open it. And yes Tomas, I'd like to meet your Teacher."

She smiles and does so, taking a long drink of the honey liquor. She looks up and smiles widely. "Your world is pretty good in my book" and walks over to the bean bag chair in the living room. The others drift with her. I look around the group and say, "You're all welcome to stay here for the night so you don't have to walk to the village at night."

The whole group breathes a sigh of relief as I said that and Roscoe and Lia share that bottle of liquor while they chat with their dates. I grab the tv remote as I go over to the DVD shelf and grab The Wizard of Oz off the shelf. 'Too bad I don't have the Dark Side of the Moon vinyl and player ready. Maybe if they come back I can show them that version.' I put the DVD into the DVD Player and turn on the flatscreen TV, '52" is not bad for a living room this size at least." I press play on the movie and tell them, "It's a movie, a kind of recorded story, like a magic picture with sound." I set the movie to play on repeat. And then I show Jasper how to turn the volume up and down on the remote, and how to turn the TV off when they get ready to go to sleep.

I light another joint and pass it around watching the beginning of the movie with them. I didn't think about them not being able to understand the language. Sirin casts a spell and says she can understand it and explain what's happening to everyone else. I don't exactly think that is going to be great for anyone, but maybe it will be fine. They seem to be enjoying it as far as I can tell, so I excuse myself after grabbing them some pillows and blankets as well as a couple of my wife's camping cots from the back of the closet in our room, and ask them not to let the dogs or cats outside.

I show them the bathroom, and tell them I'm going downstairs to sleep. The feeling of fatigue finally weighing on me greater than my curiosity could keep me socializing any longer. I slowly descended the stairs after retrieving my little rescue puppy and the other two little ones that aren't fascinated by the new people in the house. Both of the cats however also followed me down the stairs. I arrived back at the panic room door and its stone surface just seemed to melt away as I approached, and me and my fur babies retreated into the room. I panicked as I looked at the two cats. Remembering the outside cats. Then my memory plays back the sight of them on the porch and climbing the tree by the porch when we were gathering food into the trash cans outside. "Good, I really don't have the energy to go back up those stairs right now, I hope they stay safe tonight and I'll try to make them somewhere safe to stay overnight tomorrow."

-`\|/'-
When: 03.13.993 A.C. - 1926 hours F.C.T.
Where: magejosh's home on the west coast of The Elderwild Lake, outside of the village of Morinrayne, in the country of Tyrnolique
Who: Our odd protagonist and his new friends.

"Aer Alam" I invoked the little flame into my hand again as I entered the room. "I wonder how I turn on the lights in here," I asked aloud as all the sudden the room began to be bathed in ambient light from no particular source. It wasn't bright, like LED lights on 20% power or something. "Well, weird. But also cool. Brightness Up?" I said hopefully. Nothing happened. "Oh well, might as well look around this place. It's quite big." I said as I spotted a couch on the wall to the right, near a few bookcases filled with what looks like an assortment of books and scrolls. There was also a few candles and a lantern on the table near the couch and chairs. That couch looks comfy. I sat on it. It IS comfy. I lay over and close my eyes.

A book from the shelf behind the couch chooses this moment as I'm almost unconscious to fall onto my head. "What?" I exclaim, lifting the book from my face and tossing it onto the sitting table next to the couch. I look around again in the dim ambient light emitted by the magic in the room. No one, I listen for movement, nothing. 

I have a gut feeling I am missing something again. Trying to ignore it I lay back onto the couch and curl up on my side. The cushions on this couch are the softest I've ever sat upon, while not letting me sink into the cushions. In a word, it feels, luxurious. I breathe deeply, sinking into the feeling, and breathe out.
THWACK 

Another book falls from the shelf onto my head. "What the actual FUCK?" I say as I toss the book aside and look around again. I lean up and push the books on the shelves-in-reach back from the edge. The I lay back down and close my eyes again trying to enjoy the comfy couch.

And another of those gut feelings hits me, followed by a thought that belies knowledge I don't remember ever gaining. 'I need my Orb of Class to level up while I sleep.' Said the thought in my own voice yet sounding foreign at the same time.

"Wait what?!" I say as my eyes pop open. "WTF was that? What is an Orb of Class?" I ask as a vision of an orb a little smaller than a softball fills my mind's eye in full HD clarity. Not only the orb, I see it sitting on a large stone table, in the center, next to a map. I look around the room again.

I see some shadowy shapes maybe eighty-some-odd feet away deeper into the room near the center that resembles the image in my mind. 'I'm pretty sure I passed that on my way out of this room earlier today.' I grudgingly swing my feet back to the floor and stand back up. I walk over to the table, it is huge, easily 16 feet across. In the center was the orb I was looking for. Vaguely resembling a gently glowing salt lamp mixed with a faberge egg inscribed in runes along the bands of different metals that ring the glowing stone center of the orb.

I climbed on the cold hard surface of the big stone table and got the orb from the center and scooted back off the table. Then looked back towards the couch and how far it was, and then towards where that bed had been that I woke up in. It was pretty comfy too, and it's a little closer. Laziness wins and I move towards the bed. The puppies and cats are exploring the huge room as I drop onto the huge bed and grip the orb.

Nothing happens. I frown as I lift it to look at it. "Hmm. Activate?" I say questioningly, unsure if it's voice activated or what. Nothing happens still. "Level Up?" I try, and the bands readjust on the orb, revealing more of the stone again, which I hadn't even noticed it cover when I pulled it from the table. 'That seems to work,' I think and lay it and my arm across my chest. It glows as my eyes close again and I'm unconscious in an instant.

:-~-:

It feels like moments since I closed my eyes and it's like I'm waking up again, but there's a glowing blue shape standing at the foot of the bed. It looks like my uncle who had died a couple years ago. I missed him, but this was still terrifying to wake up to. I leap up onto the bed as fast as I can, ready to dodge this specter's touch. "What do you want?"

"Is that any way to treat me?" He asked and made that same goofy wry grin my uncles face just couldn't help making when he thought he was being witty or funny.

"You can't be real, you died years ago, and now you look like a bad star wars CGI effect." I retorted. 

"Okay, that may be accurate, but, I noticed you really loved training with your uncle in your youth after your dad died and thought this would be a suitable interface for training you through your first level up." The being that looked just like my Uncle Ken explained to me.

"Do what now? Level Up? What do you mean by that?" I rattled off the questions without taking a breath between them.

"Yeah, have you not checked your status screen yet?" My uncle's ghost asked me.

"My status screen? Are you joking? Like an MMO or RPG or something?" I couldn't help but asking.

"/ʋu ɓəˈukmɔ ɨːʤ/" Ken-Ghost said in a language that I understood the meaning of as he said it. 'Reveal Yourself to Me' it meant, and it was meant in a sense of speaking to yourself.

I tried to say it, slowly sounding it out, "voo buh-ook-maw ih-eej" and felt a tightness in my eyes and a tingling race up my spine into my head as my eyes then release all tightness and relax. A dark mode status screen with partially transparent panels and colorful icons and writing pops up in my field of vision, like a UI overlay stat screen from a video game, and notification chimes of all sorts ding inside my head. 

"Oh hello game system, meet Wrecking Ball," I say cackling to myself as I reach out and start exploring the display.